vladimir was running and playing soccer at recess today having so much fun with his friends.
the next thing i knew he was walking towards me with his head gushing blood, crying.
i'm not sure what exactly kicks in...but something does...maybe i do know....
half way to the school with blood rapidly dripping off of his head, running into his eye...i pull of his shirt right there in the hot sun. i have to yank it over his head in the middle of the sidewalk. i bunch it up, press it onto his head, and tell him to push hard on it. his breathing and almost hysterics increase when he looks down at his blood soaked hand. i take him by the wrist, push it down and tell him not to look at it.
he has to walk through our "cafeteria" which is just a whole bunch of tables in the middle of the hall, shirtless. god. i felt his pain on more than one level. i tried to walk in front of him and shield him with my body.
the whole time i was continuously communicating what we were doing and what we were going to do. we did some yoga breathing. together. i stopped before we got to the office to wipe blood out of his eye...how many things were going through my head? i kept thinking about the blood safety classes we are required to take...how not to even come close to a student bleeding without gloves on. you tell me how realistic that is. you show me a human with a heart who could actually DO that. i would like to have some words...
i still cant believe how calm i was.
the first thing we did was scrub those scary hands..all the way to his elbows.
then we sat on the bench...me under control...him shirtless pushing that gold shirt on his head, scared out of his mind....
he didn't know what happened. i had to explain to him what happened...and he looked at me with those huge brown drippy eyes and said, "ms. larson? can you see my brain?" i cant even describe how that made me feel!!!!!!
i took him over to the mirror to show him, assuring him he was going to be ok.
meanwhile the office staff and administrators show absolutely no compassion. he's six. and shivering and no one cares. no one cares but me.
i had to leave him there because i had 24 kids waiting for me on the playground...but i didnt want to leave him with those people.
when i got back to the playground carolyn told the story that she jumped up when he approached her because she didnt want his blood near her. strange that my first instinct was the complete opposite. i'm not saying it was the smartest reaction to run to him, hold his hand away so he couldnt see it covered in blood...but in my opinion it was the only one.
it was like being on auto pilot, i assume.
i called him after school to see if he was ok. he is.
but i guess its just tonight when it really hit me.
i feel overly emotional and so frustrated with my school.
i feel lucky to have this instinct inside of me.
i feel fortunate for him that he had me and no one else to take care of him.
its funny how much i learned from this experience today...how i know exactly how it will shape future similar occurrences. i love discovering how children think and how best to approach them. it's amazing. i feel we as teachers and adults attempt to relate to children as just little adults...but those thoughts and brains and reactions are so very different...
unfortunately it took something like this for me to see it. to realize it. to shape myself and my strategies around it. but now i know just a little bit more...and for that i will take full advantage.
here's to staying calm, comforting, loving, and showing boundless compassion to those who truly need and definitely deserve it...
especially my little vladimir...
Jules, you said,
"i feel lucky to have this instinct inside of me."
I call it a gift.
Lucky kids.
Lucky me.
Posted by: Misty | May 19, 2009 at 12:01 PM